{"id":1051,"date":"2022-01-18T16:54:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-18T21:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/?page_id=1051"},"modified":"2022-08-17T14:49:07","modified_gmt":"2022-08-17T18:49:07","slug":"how-to-help-alcoholic-family-member-friend","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/how-to-help-alcoholic-family-member-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help a Family Member or Friend With Alcoholism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h3>When someone has an alcohol use disorder, their friends and loved ones will want to help and reduce symptoms, but the process can be confusing and intimidating.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s painful to watch someone you love lose control.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Alcoholism<\/a>&nbsp;is no easy disease to bear, whether you\u2019re struggling with the addiction yourself or you\u2019re watching from the sidelines. You may begin to lose hope that the addiction will ever end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As someone who cares for the alcoholic, you have an important influence over his or her life. While you cannot save them yourself, you can help them on their journey. Here\u2019s how to help an alcoholic acknowledge their problem and find success in recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2><strong>When is it Time to Say Something?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Our society has many preconceived notions about recovery and how to help those struggling with addiction. \u201cYou have to wait for them to hit rock bottom,\u201d a friend might tell you, or \u201cThey have to<em>really want<\/em>&nbsp;to recover.\u201d And yet, often those individuals have not dealt with addiction personally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The reality is that people can find great success in recovery programs even if they didn\u2019t initially want it, or they never \u201chit rock bottom.\u201d You\u2019ll know it\u2019s time when the negative effects of alcoholism become clear in the addict\u2019s life. The&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/side-effects\/health-problems-associated-with-heavy-drinking\/\">health problems associated with heavy drinking<\/a>&nbsp;are nothing to be trifled with, and the sooner the habit can be stopped, the better off they\u2019ll be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2><strong>How to Confront a Person in Denial<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Talking to someone his or her addiction to alcohol is a delicate conversation.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.drugabuse.gov\/publications\/step-by-step-guides-to-finding-treatment-drug-use-disorders\/if-your-adult-friend-or-loved-one-has-problem-drugs\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">When planning the discussion<\/a>, here are three key elements to consider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Approach with Care<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Before confronting your loved one, it\u2019s important to do an attitude check. As frustrating as the individual can be, you have to remember where they\u2019re coming from. It\u2019s a complex issue, and alcoholism often accompanies other mental health problems such as depression. Negative talk about their failures may only drive them away further. Instead, focus on expressing your love and concern. Let them know you\u2019re there to support them and that you care deeply about their wellbeing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Discover Treatment Options<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they\u2019re unmotivated to confront their addiction, it\u2019s up to you to explore treatment options for them. Alcohol recovery begins with a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/alcohol-detox\/\">detox<\/a>&nbsp;to remove all alcohol from their system. However, this process can be dangerous to do at home. If someone has been a heavy drinker for a long time, the&nbsp;alcohol withdrawal symptoms&nbsp;can be&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/pubs.niaaa.nih.gov\/publications\/arh22-1\/61-66.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">deadly<\/a>. It\u2019s best to work with a doctor or&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/treatment-program\/drug-rehab\/\">rehab center<\/a>&nbsp;that will be able to monitor the individual\u2019s health as they reduce their alcohol intake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Hold an Intervention<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>An intervention is often a last-ditch effort for the alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge or deal with their problem. The individual\u2019s closest friends and family will gather together in an attempt to persuade them to get help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The thought of holding an intervention can be scary. What if the person reacts in anger, and the relationship is broken down further? While this is a possibility, don\u2019t let it be your focus. Instead, let that fear help you put extra care into the planning.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Interventions are actually extremely effective when approached correctly. It may be a very good idea to work with a doctor, counselor, or therapist who specializes in interventions to help you prepare for, and even facilitate the conversation. You can learn more in our&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/intervention\/\">Intervention Handbook<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2><strong>Understanding Your Role<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It can be easy to get emotionally swept up in the chaos of your loved one\u2019s addiction. But you must remember to take care of yourself as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Take a Step Back<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>As you help your friend or family member through the&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/the-stages-of-alcohol-recovery\/\">stages of alcohol recovery<\/a>, it\u2019s important to remember one thing: You cannot save them. That is not your job. You can encourage them and give them some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/intervention\/\">tough love<\/a>. But in the end, they must take responsibility for their own decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Don\u2019t feel guilty<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>No matter what led them into addiction, it\u2019s not your fault. They made their own choices. You are not responsible for their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Educate Yourself<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the best things you can do is learn about alcoholism. And since you\u2019re reading this, good job\u2014you\u2019re already headed in the right direction. Read all you can about alcoholism and share articles like this one with friends and family members. You may also want to consider attending open meetings of&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.al-anon.alateen.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Al-Anon Family Groups<\/a>. These meetings serve as support networks for family and friends who are dealing with a loved one\u2019s alcoholism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><strong>Take Care of Yourself<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, recognize that you don\u2019t always have to be in the trenches with them, it\u2019s okay to distance yourself when necessary and offer support from a distance. Roughly&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.aacap.org\/AACAP\/Families_and_Youth\/Facts_for_Families\/FFF-Guide\/Children-Of-Alcoholics-017.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one in five Americans<\/a>&nbsp;have lived with an alcoholic relative, and it can be a confusing and intensely stressful time. Addiction is often considered a&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/ncadd.org\/family-friends\/there-is-help\/family-disease\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">family disease<\/a>&nbsp;because of the direct damage it can have on the family structure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you feel the need, consider speaking to a counselor or therapist to help you process things yourself. Alcoholism can be painful for everyone involved, and it\u2019s okay to reach out for support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2><strong>When Helping Becomes Hurting<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Alcoholism can cause high emotions not only in the alcoholic, but in his or her friends and family. However, some interactions can be very damaging and even enable the individual to continue their addiction. Here are the behaviors to pay attention to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4>Keep emotions in check<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Watching a loved one hurt him- or herself is a powerless feeling. However, when talking to the individual, do not let your personal pain drive the conversation. Emotional appeals to how much they\u2019ve hurt you can increase their own negative feelings, potentially increasing their desire to drink and escape the overwhelming emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4>Don\u2019t cover for them<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>They must take responsibility for their own actions. Making excuses to their boss or teacher, doing their work for them, and covering their bills only helps them continue their addiction. Unless it\u2019s a life-threatening situation, never lend money to someone with alcoholism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4>Pick the right battles<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Lecturing them every time they come home intoxicated can turn your words into background noise. Wait until they\u2019re able to have a rational conversation before confronting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4>Never drink with them<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, it might feel right to drink with them. Maybe they \u201cjust need this right now,\u201d or you feel the need to meet them where they are. But no matter what, do not drink with them. This will only encourage their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2>You don\u2019t have to do it alone<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At The Recovery Village, we offer our patients support through a full spectrum of care. From the first day in drug or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/alcohol-detox\/\">alcohol detox <\/a>through experiencing a new life in aftercare, we\u2019re here to guide your through the difficult and rewarding process of recovery. Learn about our\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/treatment-program\/\">treatment programs<\/a>\u00a0and how we can help your loved one get a fresh start.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When someone has an alcohol use disorder, their friends and loved ones will want to help and reduce symptoms, but the process can be confusing and intimidating. It\u2019s painful to watch someone you love lose control.&nbsp;Alcoholism&nbsp;is no easy disease to bear, whether you\u2019re struggling with the addiction yourself or you\u2019re watching from the sidelines. You&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":568,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"templates\/content-page-template.php","meta":{"_searchwp_excluded":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[28],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.14 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Help a Family Member or Friend With Alcoholism | Learn More<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Alcohol use disorders create a huge impact on the individual as well as their loved ones, but helping someone with alcoholism can be full of uncertainty.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.therecoveryvillage.com\/alcohol-abuse\/how-to-help-alcoholic-family-member-friend\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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